“Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting. It is happiness because we see joy in people. It is forgetting self and finding time for others. It is discarding the meaningless and stressing the true values.” ~ Thomas S. Monson

My First Christmas Without Jan…

It hardly seems possible that the year has blown by so fast.

A year ago, we were in the life-or-death fight against cancer so virulent that it could not be stopped.

Like COVID itself, it spread quickly throughout Jan’s brain leaving her a mere shell of her true self.

We assembled the best team available, engaged our family, and fought this invisible killer to the very end.

As I prepare for my first Christmas without Jan, I want the world to know that I will do it With Grace:

• I am so very GRATEFUL for the 30 magical years we had together…

• Her strength became my strength, giving me some preemptive RESILIENCE to bounce back, just as she would have…

• Looking at her beautiful picture of a Christmas long past sparks an inner AUTHENTICITY that spans the time from now until I meet her and my beloved CJ in our eternal home…

• Jan was singularly the most positive and CREATIVE person I have ever known — her crystal tree was beyond fabulous! During the year following her untimely death, I have had to become exceptionally CREATIVE just to keep my soul moving forward, and my life from plunging into the valley of dread…

• And strangely, her unique empathy has made me far more EMPATHETIC and understanding of others, with a strong desire to help that has always been there but reserved for just the big things. Now, I try to put myself in other shoes to see if I can carry the load a bit… perhaps feeling how it feels to walk in their shoes.

Since completing Grieve With Grace, my life has centered around learning how to love and be loved again. At 76, this has been fairly easy but has had its challenges:)

I know that I will sing the same songs Jan loved at Christmas, and will shed a tear.

I am taking a couple of friends to see Celtic Woman — one of Jan’s favorite concerts for the holidays.

In a way, things are very different, but they also feel very much the same now.

Merry Christmas,
Eric Richard Haas

Stone by stone we build the bridge of Grace
over our endless river of tears