My First Christmas Without Jan…

by | Dec 24, 2022 | Grace | 0 comments

“Christmas is the perfect time to celebrate the love of God and family and to create memories that will last forever. Jesus is God’s perfect, indescribable gift. The amazing thing is that not only are we able to receive this gift, but we are able to share it with others on Christmas and every other day of the year.” ~ Joel Osteen


Exactly one year ago we gave up our fight against cancer.

From October 9th when we planned to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge on our anniversary… to death’s door… was a constant march of hope against hopelessness.

It was on Christmas Eve when all medical treatment was halted, and we were officially committed to hospice care. Hospice care is exactly that… it’s all about caring, not curing.

I am thankful Bob was here to help me on that bleak Christmas, devoid of the joy we always remember this wonderful day to be.

Christmas was, by far, Jan’s favorite holiday.

She loved the parties, the baking, the shopping, the decorating… virtually every thought we had from her birthday on November 4th to December 25th was about celebrating the birth of Jesus and the pure fun of the kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids.

Every year on her birthday, we would drive up to Estes Park to the little Christmas shop where she would pick out new ornaments for her beautiful Crystal Tree pictured above. 

This is one of my favorite pictures of Jan and my beloved CJ who passed about 5 years ago at the ripe old age of 20. CJ was, like Jan, beautiful in both heart and soul… a cat that was so bonded to me that she was rarely more than 2-3 feet away from me at any time.

Today, I am alone but not alone.

I have lost the most important person in my life, yet I have found an entire family to help me move into an entirely new future.

It would be impossible to make it without Kelli, Kasch, and Jen, the only family members that actually care. The rest of the immediate family are simply MIA… at the worst time in my life. (Tells you everything you need to know about their character. They didn’t get the big insurance payout they expected, so I am now an outcast to the Laytons.)

Yes, this Christmas I shall forgive their disgusting behavior. Forgive, but never forget. (I am sure I am not the only person in the world who suffered from greedy, selfish, and just plain narcissistic family members, so take this as intended. Me venting a bit, while closing the books on a year that saw cancer take the woman who loved them more than their own lives.)

But my extended family has made all the difference in the world.

This Christmas I am thankful for all the people in my life, friends, business associates, and church family. I would list all the people who helped me make it this year—Kent, Bob, Cindy, Sandy, Sam, Jimmy, Chuck, Grace, Mark, Jerone, Patrick, MK, Waqas, Sumon, Francisco, Dr. Phil, Dr. Joe, Pastors Bobby and Alberto, Veronica, Lupita, Zeline, and Luis… the list is endless—but suffice it to say I appreciate their kindness and love more than you can imagine. 


There is no tree… no presents to unwrap… no dinners to prepare… 

There is no hustle and bustle going to and fro…


When I Look Up…

I become inspired by “our mountain” and remember that in time, I will join Jan way up on Mt. San Jacinto where we will be together forever, leaving this Earthly plain far behind.

No, I do not want to be hoisted up to the top anytime soon. I am on a mission and need a little more time to guarantee Jan’s Legacy.

Christmas is about love. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” ~ John 3:16

I believe this.

To my core.

So today, I look up at the mountain and see the Christmas Star sparkling in the fresh snow—a constant reminder of God’s Love, and Jan’s Legacy.

I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas.

My prayer is that you unwrap the hope you so richly deserve,
Eric Richard Haas December 24, 2022

In Loving Memory of Janice Mary Haas, November 4, 1942 ~ January 9, 2022


Jan’s Legacy…


Written by HunrayOne

Eric Richard Haas lost his beautiful wife, Janice, to incurable cancer on January 9, 2022, after 30 wonderful years of marriage. Together they have 5 kids, 9 grandkids, and 8 great-grandkids. Eric (E.R) is the CEO of the TQ Smart family of companies, a serial entrepreneur x22 and author x27 (AKA The Invisible Billionaire) E. R. lives in Palm Springs, CA with his beautiful cat, Kissie



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